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Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 7:24 am Post subject:

"I'm impressed with you, April, I'll admit. I expected you to be more reticent at the idea of being sent away so soon, but I get the impression you would leave now if I let you..."

Eric does something funny then. He looks at April attentively and she can see passion in his eyes, though very briefly. He dismisses it, shaking his head and retrieving that smile he displayed earlier. "Well! You'll stay for dinner at least! We haven't had the kitchens in an uproar simply to dismiss our special guest this easily. I hope you have a large appetite."

He gets up, "You can leave under the cover of night. I'll have a few of Julian's rangers escort you through Arden, if you're comfortable with that?"
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

"That would be great!" April says with obvious relief. "I mean the dinner," she clarifies, "Not that having an escort of rangers wouldn't be great, uh ... won't be great. It will, I just ... "

She slides to an awkward silence, then says "I want to help, but I'm glad of an excuse to stay, even for a few hours. I think, somehow that I'll find it harder than I expected to leave."

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 7:59 pm Post subject:

Looking her in the eyes again, Eric says, "Excellent! Then I might have just a bit of time to know more about you after all." He looks away and continues, "This mission is not yet critical, but it will save me a great deal of grief to be able to take care of it right away."

Eric stands up, saying, "Well, I'm sure you'd like to contact your mother now and let her know what sort of risk I've just put you under. If you could spare her details about the distorted Pattern, I would appreciate it, although I don't expect you to."
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

April sighs. "Do you really think I ought to bring her up to speed?" she asks. "She sent me here knowing this kind of thing was likely ... I suppose I just figure that the details are just that ... details."

"Not really sure it's any of her business," April finishes, sullenly. She looks unhappy, and a bit ashamed, as if she knows that what she's saying is not quite right, but looks hopefully to the King.

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject:

Eric raises an eyebrow, "Well, I don't see why she would need to know about... the details. I suppose I expected you to be her ears and eyes in Amber, but then again, I probably shouldn't make assumptions pertaining to your relationship with Deirdre."

Eric sits back down next to April. He shakes his head and says, "By all means, I would rather have you work independently of your mother in all things. I dislike the idea of her having a hand in my affairs, unless it were to help."

"At first, I suspected you would turn out to be an avatar for her, here in Amber... I trust you understand that this is not the reason why I would send you away tonight. This thing I need to take care of will give you a chance to help in our cause in a very concrete way."

Eric puts his hand on her chair's back, near to her shoulder, "I realize now that you must think me rather rude in the assumptions I made about you, but you are unknown to me and I couldn't afford to bring someone in that I couldn't count on."

"You do seem rather determined to help, though, and I can see that you are being genuine. Would you... tell me more about yourself, April?"
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

April flushes. She turns halfway around in her seat, which has the effect of both letting her face him and putting her a few inches further away. "Well," she says, "I haven't really done anything. I know most of my cousins have big things on their resume already, but I'm really just getting started."

"There's not much to tell ..." she confesses, but then her eyes sparkle with a little mischief, and after a moment she adds, "... yet."

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject:

Eric smiles and says, "Now, you're just being modest, I'm sure. You said you traveled Shadow for most of your life, so I'll at least assume that you can handle yourself on your own in Shadow."

...

He bites his thumb briefly and says with a feigned worried look, "You need to warn me if this travel turns out to be too much for you to handle. Don't be too proud like the rest of us and fail to ask for help when you need it. It would be a shame if I got you in some serious trouble..."
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

April shakes her head and laughs a little as he baits her. "Oh," she says, "You think you're so smooth."

She looks him over appraisingly, then says finally, in a relenting tone, "Fine. I'll make you a deal. There's no way, no how, that I'm going to sit here and pony up stuff that I think is important about myself, as if it should impress the guy who took over Amber. It would all be just too, too junior varsity for words. But you're the host, I'm your guest ... I'll field one actual question to get things started ... but then, before you get a second question, I get to ask one of you. No secret spy stuff, no 'Where did you hide Hoffa's body?' just questions about who we are and how we think."

"We keep going until it gets boring, or somebody balks." She flashes a predatory smile. "Sound good?"

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject:

Eric grins and says, "Alright, April. I suppose if you want to play this game..."

He thinks for a moment, looking at the ceiling, then he turns his focus back on her and asks, "When did you walk the Pattern the first time and where did you go?"
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

"A year ago, in Rebma," April replies, with a little shudder. "Not something I'm eager to chance again. I went to a place called New Orleans, where I had known love." She tapers off, then finishes in a soft mutter to herself, " ... but it was too late, even then."

She shakes herself slightly, then focusses on Eric. "Why do you want to be King?" she asks flatly.

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:51 pm Post subject:

Eric traces his goatee with his thumb and index finger. He says, rather unapologetically, "The truth is that I was once vain about my competitive relationship with Corwin. I'm certain your mother has made you aware of that fact... The throne, we both knew, was an easy way for one of us to exercise authority over the other."

He pauses briefly and looks at her intently, "Early on in my quest for kingship, I realized that none of that mattered. I wanted to become King for the simple reason that I am more fit to rule than anyone else. I love Amber and I will do anything to keep it safe." He sighs, "Had he become King, I'm unsure Corwin could have done the same."

"Now, I can't help but feel that you may not be entirely satisfied with Deirdre. Why is that? And don't spare me the details, if you don't mind," he says with a wink.
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

"Oh! Where to begin?" April says, leaning forward and settling into a rapid, breathless patter. "She always has to have her way, of course, because everything she wants to do is so vital and important and OLD, that nobody who hasn't lived for centuries could possibly have anything similarly meaningful to contribute, but naturally she'd never think of actually saying that, because if she said that then even a not-too-bright kid would ask 'So, what? I'm supposed to wait hundreds of years before I even get to think about having a say?' and what can a person really answer to that, logic or no? So instead what she says is 'You know how important my concerns are, and I hope you realize how very much I care for you by the fact that I'm consulting you on this at all ... now what do you think we should do?' which sounds very equitable, very fair, except that somehow or other what with Exigencies and Consequences and Situations, it always turns out that what I decide is the best thing to do is just what she wanted me to decide in the first place."

"Now I know," she says, raising a finger to forestall comment, even if a person could get a word in edge-wise, "That's rational discussion, and sometimes people convince you of things that aren't what you want, because they're right ... but rational discussion is just one of these arenas where you folks have learned all the tricks of the game, so that you can convince a person that white is black and day is night and anchovies belong on pizza. The only person who has a chance against one of you is another one, and my mom was having these conversations with me when I was seven. That's like telling a toddler that they can have ice cream if they beat you in an arm-wrestling match, then breaking their arm and saying 'Oh well, no ice cream I guess.' Who the hell DOES that to someone that much weaker than them?"

"So by the time I realized this," April rolls on, "by the time I was able to glimpse the outlines of it, the context of how I was being systematically shoved around and cheated, I was so emotionally tied up about it that it was too late for me to have a rational discussion. Now that I have the skills to actually handle an argument with her, the mere fact of all the arguments I've lost means that I can't keep my cool. I can't talk to her, and I get the grim, slinking suspicion that she intended it this way, that she's been working from the start to install all the hot buttons that would let her keep right on defeating me, even as I got stronger, because she wants somebody that can deal with her siblings, at least a little, but she has no interest in someone who could actually score points off of her. She's been training me, like a hunting dog, training me to be tough against everyone else and weak against her. She doesn't want to be my mother, she wants to be my master."

April runs down, panting. "Wow," she gasps, "Y'know ... I've never had someone to talk about this with before who I thought would have a chance in hell of believing me. I mean, other people try to sympathize, but their idea of how manipulative a person could be ... it doesn't reach far enough. So they just figure I'm crazy, and it's all 'Wow, that's really rough ... being that NUTS, that is! Sheesh! Your mother can't be that bad!' But you ... you know what this family can be like. You know that it's not only possible, but probable."

She looks at him intently. "You believe me, right?"

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:45 pm Post subject:

Eric's expression during April's tirade varies from concern to suppressed chuckles to compassionate understanding.

When she has finished, he puts his hand on hers and says, "Sweetheart, I believe you, and trust me when I say I understand in a very real way what you had to go through..." He looks up and mumbles audibly, "I feel like you've gotten something off my chest too at this point."

Then looking into her eyes again, he says, "I'm not about to defend your mother in this instance, and you're clever enough to understand the impact she may have had upon her full brothers' relationship with each other, but I've got to say it's pretty bold of her to send you away from her if she doesn't believe you were worthy of playing the game as we do. Do you think she is finally giving you credit or does she want something else out of you here?" There is nothing strange in his voice or actions, but April becomes aware that he has not let go of her hands yet.
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TonyLB · Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 407

A flush quickly rises in April's cheeks, and starts spreading down her neck and across her whole body.

"What?" she says, almost stammering, "What are you .... what are you saying?"

Her hands under his grow tense, taut. She stares at them.

"Are you saying you think she groomed me for ... to be a ... "

She shakes her head violently, not quite pulling her hands away, but tense in every line of her carriage.

"What are you saying?" she asks intently.

Nihilistic Mind · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:54 pm Post subject:

Eric laughs nervously and pulls his hands back to his lap slowly, "It sounds to me like you were right when you said she raised you to face everyone but herself. I am merely suggesting that she raised you to be one of us. Whether she considers your education complete or whether she has something else in mind for you here is quite uncertain, and potentially unsettling."

He leans back into his chair and scratches the back of his head. "Well, I wonder what she was like with Ian in comparison to you. Sounds to me like she's been tougher on you than him and I wonder why."
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